The Beauty of Community.

I was fortunate enough to spend last weekend in Michigan with some of my favorite people. The beginning of the trip was with family and the end of the trip with friends. It was refreshing and exhausting all at the same time, but overall, it was just what I needed. No matter where I live or where I go, Michigan will always be home. Staring out the big window in my parent's living room and looking out to the backyard, sitting on the beach, playing in the waves at Lake Michigan and soaking in the sunsets are where I find peace.

That weekend I didn't even spend much time at my actual house, but I was with people in lots of different places. It made me realize home isn't always a place, but it can be who you're with too.

My friends and I rented a house for the weekend. We've been planning this trip for almost a year and we managed to find a time where all eleven people could come from five different states to one of our favorite places, Lake Michigan. When everyone arrived, my heart felt like it would burst because it was so full.

Some of these friends I have known since I was a baby, some of them elementary school, some high school and some have "married into" the group, but regardless of the length of time each person has been in my life, they each mean so much to me and have a piece of my heart.

The weekend was a healing balm and jumpstart to my heart, all at the same time. One group got dinner ready, while others played cornhole and others talked on the porch. We played game after game after game. We sprinted across the sand to meet the sunset. We talked life plans and caught up in ways that can only happen in person. We settled into each other's presence and picked up where we left off. We jabbed and joked with each other and went back and forth, where others may look in and wonder if we're more like siblings than friends. But that's the beauty in community, just because we don't share blood, doesn't mean we can't be our own kind of family.

With each burst of laughter, each heart shared, each question asked, every joke made and every smile exchanged, I just saw beauty. Beauty in friendship, beauty in bonds that last through change, through moves, through life transitions, beauty in new friends and marriages and babies and life milestones celebrated, beauty in community and beauty in the ability to sit down, pick up where you left off and really be together. States, time and life might separate us, but that doesn't mean the beauty is gone. It just means we have to hang on to it when we can and know it'll be there the next time we're together.

We are meant for community. This weekend was a testament of that truth for me. We are meant to open ourselves up to each other and do life together. We are meant to encourage, comfort and listen to each other. We are meant to enjoy, laugh and have fun together. We are meant to be a part of each other's story.

I am so thankful for the community I have and that through the people who exist within my different communities and "families" that I am able to see and experience so much love and so much beauty.

The Discipline of Unlearning.

Recently I've been realizing how many things I'm "unlearning". We all have habits, we all have tendencies, we all have things that we just do...our natural reaction to things, the habits that are just ingrained in who we are, how we respond to stress or difficult situations. I'm realizing these habits, tendencies and natural things I just do aren't always healthy. They don't serve me well, but it's hard to change them. It's not easy to unlearn something. It's not easy to go against the grain of what have become your natural tendencies. I really think it's a discipline. The discipline of unlearning.

It's easier to just keep doing what you do. It's easier to just keep reverting back to how I handle stress and anxiety. It's easier to not have to put effort into something because it's how it's always been. It's easier to fix things than sit in the brokenness.

It's hard work to choose the healthier option. It's hard work to replace the lies you've always believed, with truth. It's hard to remember that the motivations of guilt and shame are not healthy. It's hard to take the risk when you just want to play it safe. It's hard to be truthful and honest in a conversation when you're used to just saying whatever will keep the peace.

This discipline of unlearning has been a process for me and every day I have to choose to not revert back to old habits. I have to make the choice to replace lies with truth. I have to choose to breathe in peace and not let anxiety rule my thoughts. I have to choose to sit amongst the brokenness and not try to fix it.

It's definitely a discipline to unlearn. Discipline is not something I've ever really been that good at, but apparently whether I wanted to or not, these days have been full of doing things I'm not good at.

It can all be pretty exhausting, but the nice thing with discipline is that when you keep practicing it, it starts to come more naturally. Although it takes hard work and it's not easy, the healthier tendencies are what start to become ingrained in you and it's worth it.

Lies.

I've been reminded lately how we are surrounded day in and day out by lies. Some of the them are so common and subtle that we don't even notice we are taking them in. Others stare us in the face, but we believe them. I don't want to sit across from a teenage girl and listen to her tell me she will never amount to anything because that's what those around her tell her. I don't want to sit across from a friend and listen to her tell me she is ugly and no one will ever think she's beautiful. I don't want to sit across from a child and listen to her tell me she hates herself.

I hear these things all the time. It hurts me to hear people believe these lies. But then I look at myself and realize how often I believe these lies. How many times have I thought to myself that I am anything but beautiful? How many times have I believed that I will never really do anything with my life?

Lies. Lies. Lies.

I want to sit across from this teenage girl and tell her she will amount to something because she is smart, she has the kindest, selfless heart of any teenager I've ever met, and she loves deeply. I want to sit across from my friend and tell her she's more beautiful than she will ever know. I want to sit across from this child and tell her she is loved, she is beautiful, she was created for a purpose by a God that loves her more than me or anyone around her ever will and she is good.

I want to whisper truth across the souls of these precious and wonderful people. I want them to know they were created for a reason, that they are part of a bigger story, and that they belong to a God who fiercely loves them. I can say this with confidence because I struggle with these very things and I have felt that still, small voice whisper across my soul that I am beautiful, I am loved and I was meant to live and live life abundantly.