Recently I've been realizing how many things I'm "unlearning". We all have habits, we all have tendencies, we all have things that we just do...our natural reaction to things, the habits that are just ingrained in who we are, how we respond to stress or difficult situations. I'm realizing these habits, tendencies and natural things I just do aren't always healthy. They don't serve me well, but it's hard to change them. It's not easy to unlearn something. It's not easy to go against the grain of what have become your natural tendencies. I really think it's a discipline. The discipline of unlearning.
It's easier to just keep doing what you do. It's easier to just keep reverting back to how I handle stress and anxiety. It's easier to not have to put effort into something because it's how it's always been. It's easier to fix things than sit in the brokenness.
It's hard work to choose the healthier option. It's hard work to replace the lies you've always believed, with truth. It's hard to remember that the motivations of guilt and shame are not healthy. It's hard to take the risk when you just want to play it safe. It's hard to be truthful and honest in a conversation when you're used to just saying whatever will keep the peace.
This discipline of unlearning has been a process for me and every day I have to choose to not revert back to old habits. I have to make the choice to replace lies with truth. I have to choose to breathe in peace and not let anxiety rule my thoughts. I have to choose to sit amongst the brokenness and not try to fix it.
It's definitely a discipline to unlearn. Discipline is not something I've ever really been that good at, but apparently whether I wanted to or not, these days have been full of doing things I'm not good at.
It can all be pretty exhausting, but the nice thing with discipline is that when you keep practicing it, it starts to come more naturally. Although it takes hard work and it's not easy, the healthier tendencies are what start to become ingrained in you and it's worth it.