Women and Girls.

This last week I had the opportunity to speak on a panel at Trevecca after the showing of the movie, It’s a Girl. This movie is heart wrenching and actually quite horrifying. Learning about gendercide and being exposed to the real life facts that up to 200 million women and girls are missing in the world, 1 in 4 girls won’t make it past puberty in India and China and more baby girls are killed in India and China than are born in the United States each year is horrible. It is unacceptable and terrible.

We had to formulate a response to the movie and my response was…anger. I have been learning a lot about emotions lately and one thing I’ve realized is that anger can lead to depression or it can give birth to your passions and desires. This anger reminded me of my passion for gender equality and my desire for everyone (especially those in the church) to understand the importance of affirming women and girls.

The idea that it is okay to kill a baby because it is a girl is not okay and it comes out of the idea that girls are weaker and not as valuable as boys. This idea that girls don’t have as much to offer and are more of a burden isn't okay and it's an issue that is seen all over the place.

It’s an issue that on average women are paid half of what men make. It’s an issue that a girl can be told that her calling is wrong and she really didn’t hear the Lord speak to her when she shares she wants to be a pastor because “women can’t be leaders in the church”. It’s an issue that girls find their identity in who they have dated and if boys find them attractive. It’s an issue that women are viewed as weaker and not as valuable and if they are perceived as assertive and strong they can be considered a bitch. It’s not okay.

Some people say I’m overly sensitive, or throw the feminist word at me (that doesn't scare me...you can keep calling me that), but I just really believe, deep in my soul, that we were created equal, that God created us this way, and I hate to see such inequality. I hate to see women and girls devalued and this idea of a “weaker sex” to be accepted. From the fact that more girls and women are killed in gendercide then all genocides combined to statements like “you throw like a girl” all play into this stereotype and belief.

So…it’s not okay? So what? It’s easy to wonder what to do and feel overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions for how to be a part of the change that encourages and empowers girls around the world.

1. Love yourself and remember who you are. We have to start with ourselves. Remember you are one who is dearly loved by God. Learn to love yourself for who you uniquely are. Stop punishing your self and critiquing your body or thinking you're not good enough. You are beautiful and wonderful. Know your worth and live into that truth each day.
2. Start where you are. Love and affirm a girl around you. Mentor a girl and speak truth into her life. Boys (if you’ve read this far) this means you too. It could mean so much more for a girl to hear from a male influence in her life that she is valuable, that her identity is found in the fact that she is a child of God and that her life means something.
3. Spread the word. After watching a movie like It’s a Girl we have the responsibility to spread the word. Other documentaries and movements you can learn about are Girl Rising and Half the Sky. Get educated and tell others about what you’re learning. Also, check out The Girl Declaration. 
4. Be brave enough to challenge the stereotypes. Stop saying things like “stop crying like a little girl”. Don’t accept it when someone talks about how a man would be better for the job because “he can be more in charge”. Really dig deep into scripture and the life of Jesus to formulate an opinion about women in the church rather than believing something because that's what you've always been taught. (Check out this blog)

Whether you agree with everything I said or not, think about it. Take the time to learn about these issues and form an opinion about them. Realize that we were all made in God’s image. No one deserves to be considered “less than”. Know your worth and remind someone else of theirs today.

The past.

I recently read back through all my old blogs and let me tell you...if you need a reminder about how far you've come or want to see God's faithfulness, just go back through something you've written. There were times I thought, did I really write that? or I don't even remember that happening? or some that actually brought me to tears because the pain that happened at that moment came back so strong. There is a common theme and common struggles through all of my posts. I write a lot about my heart being broken with the pain I see around me and not knowing how to deal with that, I see a common series of events that led me to realizing I wanted to work somewhere like Harvest Hands, I see my insecurities and my struggles with failing, I am reminded of the pain I felt during and the struggles of college, I saw myself wrestle with being present, but most importantly I saw God's faithfulness.  Actually, I'm kinda blown away by it.

Whether I was writing about pain or about joys, about my victories or my mistakes, looking back I can see how God was there. Even in some dark times in my life where I refused to mention that God might be working through something, now I see where He was. God always showed up. My stupid self didn't always acknowledge that, but He was there.

Eugene Cho, Jake and Em's pastor, tweeted this and I think it is pretty inclusive of my feeling after reading back through the blogs of my last seven years of life:

How do we know God loves us? Because God knows EVERYTHING about us...and hasn't left. God still remains, still loves, & still pursues.

Praise the Lord that this is true. I'm thankful that I have something like this blog to remind me of that. Looking back through my past I could choose to feel guilt and shame or see where I was and really clung to God's promises and feel bad that I haven't been doing that lately, but we aren't supposed to live in the past. We have now, not then and we're moving forward, not backwards. So I choose to be reminded of where I've been, but choose to live each day fully alive now and continue moving forward remembering that God is love and God is faithful.

What I'm into...

In true form, I currently have three papers I could be working on and a discussion post to write, but I decided to write a blog instead. In the blogging world people have been posting about "What they're into this summer" so I decided to join the club. So here's a few things I'm into...

Traveling. This summer I took the longest road trip of my life going from Nashville to Michigan to Philly to Baltimore and back to Nashville by myself. It was something like 2,000 miles and a whole heck of a lot of toll money. It was a trip of sadness and grief because of the unexpected loss of my aunt, but also a reminder of the great community I have around me. I had many places to stop and people to see and friends who called to keep me company. I also went back to Michigan two times after that trip, once to visit my friend Lindsey in Grosse Pointe and another time for the wedding of my dear friends, Jake and Hannah and I'll be back to MI at the end of August for family time. 

Music. I'm always into some type of music, this summer my tastes have ranged from the new Sara Barreilles, Justin Timberlake, The Avett Brothers, Mayer Hawthorne, The Piano Guys (great paper writing music) and I may be slightly obsessed with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. My friend Chelsea gave me their album when I left Michigan for Philly and I don't know how many times I have listened to it. So good.

Not doing homework. As illustrated by this current blog post, I have had a hard time focusing on school work. It's hard to do school in the summer! Summer is supposed to be fun.

Dresses. I may or may not have gone through a phase of buying five or six dresses and then I had to stop myself. It was becoming a problem. I just really like them and they were on sale and they are all super cute and I've worn them all a lot already. (see how I justify things in my head?)

Smoothies. Summer means fresh fruits and they make great smoothies. I pretty much start every day with one.

Spending time with the kids. With the summer comes a little bit more flexibility to spend time with our students and I love it. I was able to see the elementary students a lot more and spend some good quality time with my high schoolers. 

Realizing life is hard and it's okay. This has been a recurring theme this summer for me. I think more to come on this later, but I've been learning a lot of lessons and growing a lot this summer.

Fundraising and Development. I have gone through a job transition at work to become the Director of Communications and Development. I have the privilege of learning from a great teacher and I've also been taking lots of development classes from the Center for Nonprofit Management...I'm on my way to becoming an expert!

The Mindy Project. I watched the whole season and you should do. So ridiculously funny.

They held his hands up.

My aunt passed away suddenly a week ago. She had been sick, but it wasn’t expected and was a shock. She had just moved back to Michigan after living in Australia for the past 35 years and her daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter moved here too. So to get the call that she was gone was hard, it was too soon and it sucked. She wasn’t supposed to leave us yet.

There’s a story in Exodus about when the Israelites are fighting and when Moses held up his hands, Israel was winning, when he let them down, the other people were winning. Well…obviously, his hands got tired and when they did his friends brought a stone for him to sit on and then they did what I think is really cool…his friends held his hands up---"one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset."

These two guys didn’t have to do that. They could have left Moses and let him grow tired and take on that responsibility on his own, but they didn’t. They held his hands up. I am no Bible scholar so I don’t even know the context, but what I do know is that Moses’ two friends shared in this responsibility and offered support to him.

The past few weeks have been kinda crazy, overwhelming and hectic for me. I told my mom the night before I got the news about my aunt that I didn’t have the energy to deal with one more emotional thing. And honestly, I didn’t. My hands were tired, so you could say, but this is the really cool thing…people held my hands up.

Nothing about this last week has been easy for me or my family. My cousin lost her mom. My mom lost her sister. And it sucks. But I have been surprised and overwhelmed by how people have shown up. They have held our hands up.

They brought dinner to feed our entire family plus some.

They cleaned my cousin’s house from top to bottom.

They send a “praying for you” or “is there anything I can do for you?” text.

They call you to keep you occupied during your drive home.

They think for you at work when you can’t find the energy to do it yourself.

They come help you finish your yard work.

They send you gas money.

And, really, the list could go on. Yes, nothing about this has been easy for my family, but it for sure has been a testament to how people show up and how they have held our hands up.

Seasons.

I love the four seasons. I love looking forward to the seasons changing and knowing that even though I'm dying of heat in August that relief will be coming. It's something to count on. Even though the weather can be screwy, you know the seasons will change at some point. Fall.

Winter.

Spring.

Summer.

I'm coming to realize that in life we have seasons too. This may seem like to some of you an, of course, moment, but to me, someone who leans towards the comfortable and consistent, I've spent a lot of time resisting the change. I've spent a lot of time over thinking (because I over think everything) why things have to change and wishing they were the way they were before, but I've come to realize....that's just now how life works.

Life changes. People change. Situations change. Some things are in your control, some things are not. My perspective is changing from not understanding this ebb and flow, to a perspective of looking forward to it.

For example, I hate summer. Seriously, just thinking about it makes me sweat and get angry. I hate being hot and in Nashville...it gets hot and humid. It's not even enjoyable to be outside. It's awful. Anyway...I'm trying to appreciate summer though because I think without summer I wouldn't appreciate fall as much and I love fall. The cooler nights, the pumpkin scents and flavors, homemade applesauce, bonfires, scarves and boots, football, hot cider...oh the list goes on!

I think we go through seasons of life that we hate, that when we're going through them we don't understand why, that when it's happening all we can think of is when will this be over? I think we go through seasons of life that are easy and everything seems to be working out great. I think we go through seasons where change happens and it's hard and sometimes unwelcome and even when it's welcome, it can be hard.

But I also think that's how life works. Life is made up of seasons. Life is an ebb and flow and it changes. Embracing all these seasons of life has allowed me to fully live.