The Journey of Life

Wow, a lot has happened in this last month or so. It's hard to believe that a month and a half ago I was in Zambia and experiencing the best summer of my life. It wasn't easy coming back home and back to school. I can for sure feel Satan working away at me and trying to find every way possible to make me forget what I learned and experienced this summer. I'm not gonna lie he has been doing a pretty good job. These last few weeks I think I have been letting him win and have been drowned in the temptation to think about all that was and all that happened and forget all that is and can be.
I am in this place for a purpose. I went to Zambia for a purpose and now I'm here for a purpose. Although I did have an amazing summer and as life changing as it was, I can't get stuck in that. As cliche as this may sound, life is a journey and it keeps going. I don't want to be left behind thinking of where maybe "I wish I was" but make the most of where I am.

I have so many great opportunities here at school to serve and to grow. Even though I'm not in a foreign country and pushed out of my comfort zone every single day, growth and service can still happen. I pray that God will continue to ignite that passion in my heart and not let me forget my purpose here on this earth.
I want to spend every single day loving to my best ability and serving. The girls on my floor are one way I'm so excited to serve! They are all so incredible and I already love them and can't wait to see what the year has to bring! Just being there for them makes my day worth it. And Baby Girl's Club is a passion that comes alive every time I see those little girls faces and I just want to love on them more and more every time I see them.

Life wasn't meant to be easy. Your situations and experiences change around you continually, but God doesn't. He is the same God as he was yesterday, today and will be tomorrow. That's why it's so comforting to know that my identity is in Him and not any other person, place or "experience" and that we have a consistent God.

So...yeah I may not be in Zambia anymore and yes it was an amazing and life changing experience but it happened and has shaped me but I need to keep on this journey of life. I need to be willing to be used by God wherever I may be and look for new opportunities to serve and be used.

Community

Community may be a small word and maybe even an over used words at time but I've really realized this past summer how important community is. I love community. I love being around people. I love having others around you that love and support you and you can go to at any time and you know they'll love you no matter what is going on. I also love engaging in a new community like I did this summer and going to Zambia with three random strangers that I met one day and lived with for the next 8 weeks. We became just like a family and were more honest and open with each other than I have been with anyone. We were authentic and real with each other and vulnerable and through all that we became so close and God used each of us in each other's lives.

God created us to be in community. Not just with each other, but with him too. This summer I have learned how important it is to be in "community" with God. Out of the extended time we spend with our Savior overflows love and lessons in how to be in community with others. We were created to be relational and to be in community.

I love that my major is community development. I have been thinking about that more lately and how just that title really encompasses what I'm about and what I love.
How I love building relationships with people and yeah I may not be the most outgoing person, but I love getting to know people and loving on others. And I want to develop community for those who don't know what they're missing out on, whether its a Zambian child being held for the first time, paying attention to and having a conversation with a homeless man on the street, or showing my Baby Girls that no matter how bad their life at home is they can have a safe place at Baby Girls Club and we will love them.

I think there are different circles of your "community". You will always have your close group, like family and close friends and those are so so important to have for care, accountability and stability. But I also believe God called us to seek out these opportunities to develop community with others and engage in others lives so that they may understand what it should be like to be in community with Christ.

Hopefully all these thoughts make sense, but I just know that community is a great thing to have and something we need. Not only with each other but with most importantly, God. We can't neglect that relationship because it should impact all other relationships. God is good and praise the Lord for all that he is teaching me!

I can't believe that I'm home. The summer has flown by and I can't believe my time in Africa is over. It truly has been the best summer of my life and has made me realize how great God is! God taught me so many things and I feel like I could go on for hours and hours about my experience. Zambia has for sure become one topic I could talk about forever. :) It's hard for me to believe that at times I was so unsure about going on this trip and it made me nervous just to think about it, but I went and I'm so thankful. Praise the Lord for allowing me to go on this trip because I know that my life will not be the same after. It's like I have a before and after of my life now and it's great. It has been so weird coming back to America and having the buzz of the TV, hearing cell phones ringing, walking into a grocery store and having all the shelves stocked, hearing people complain about so many little things, and not having every child's attention as you walk on the street.

Sometimes its hard not to become bitter or mad about things here in the US and I wonder why we are so blessed in this country. But I do know that God says to whom much is given, much is expected and I believe that more than ever now. My life cannot be the same after this trip and after all the encounters I had with people in Zambia. I don't want to sound extreme or anything like that, but mostly I just wanted to let you know that the Lord worked this summer and I am so grateful for that. My prayer (which actually came from a very wise person I know) now is that God would cement the things that I have learned and experienced in my heart so much that no amount of America takes away what I have learned. I have become gloriously ruined and have dangerously surrendered my life to Christ even more and I love it. If you can all continue to join with me in prayer not only for me, but the people in Zambia and all of the good work that God is doing there.

I leave tomorrow!

Hi everyone! I'm sitting in El Paso, TX right now not believing that I'm about to leave for Zambia tomorrow! We received our itinerary today and it's going to be a super long time for traveling so your prayers would be appreciated! It looks like we'll fly to Houston, then London, then Johansburg South Africa and then Zambia. We'll get there on Tuesday afternoon. I think it's about 25 hours on the actual planes with some three and six hour lay overs! We also learned exactly what we will be doing. We'll be in orphanages, child development centers, care for dying patients, working with church youth groups, and AIDS education.
Another thing I can for sure update you guys on besides my travel plans is the fact that God is good and has already started working on my heart. He has already taught me so much in this last week. The last week has consisted of a training camp in New Mexico with team building and bonding. He has stretched me and reminded me of his love over and over again. The email would have to be ten pages long to get across everything that I've been learning. And for those of you that were wondering...the team building was great and I actually enjoyed it a lot! :) (I told you God was good!)
I have been reading scripture more this last week then I have in the past and I can't believe what I've been missing out on! I have been trying to find God's promises so I could write them down and be reminded of them daily while in Zambia. The two biggest things were the fact that God never leaves us and that he will be our comfort. There is so much more but I know those especially will be constant reminders.
The people I've met here have been incredible and it's so wonderful to be united in community with people that share the same passion and just want to love those we're going to serve just like Jesus! I can't wait to see what God has in store for me and if you could continue to join with me in prayer. My heart is overflowing with thanksgiving to God who even in my fear and anxiety could teach me and stretch me in ways I never would have imagined! My teammates Julia, Deanna and Josh are incredible and we're already like a family only after five days of being together. They all have a heart for the Lord and it is evident. Well I'm off on this incredible journey starting tomorrow. I can't wait! I don't know when I'll be able to update but hopefully at least a couple times. Prayers are appreciated! My prayer is that I'll continue to be stretched out of my comfort zone and that we can be used to reach those in Zambia so that God's kingdom advances!

It's okay to have weaknesses?

This is a question that a lot of the time I would say no. I hate to admit it and I'm just starting to actually embrace and realize that I tend to be an over-achiever or perfectionist. I don't know if that's exactly the word you would use to describe me but basically I like to be good at everything I do and I know the potential that I can achieve and anything less than that is not okay so I try really hard. And I'm not okay if I'm just average. I know this is not the right way to think and to be honest I wish this wasn't my mind set, but what can I say...I am a work in progress and God keeps revealig these things to me that are shaping me and stretching me into the person he created me to be.

So my whole life I hated having weaknesses. I would rather ignore the fact and not participate in something if I wasn't good at it, if I couldn't be great at it, why do it?...(please bear with me I'm trying this new vulnerability thing too...which I'm not very good at...) This belief has been changing in me and it hasn't come with it's uncomfortable moments and unwanted incidents, but it's all good for me and I'm starting to realize that it's okay we have weaknesses. Everyone has them and even though everyone's is different and our struggles are different God made us all the way we are, weaknesses and all so how can I ignore that?

Well, I've been trying to prepare some devotionals/testimony for Africa and I was thinking about the power of Christ and trying to focus on that since I know that's what I'll need to get through this summer! I stumbled on a verse I've known well my whole life but it all of a sudden hit me and I "got it". (So much so I am writing a blog at 1 in the morning) :) Anyway here it is:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me...I delight in weakness". 2 Cor. 12:9-10.

Whoa...boast in my weakness? I delight in weakness? I have heard the first part of that passage many times, however, it has never hit home for me, especially vs. 10. I think with this trip coming up I have often been dwelling on all that I can't do and wishing I was better at all these things and God knew exactly what I needed to hear.
It's okay that I'm not good at everything and that there just some areas of life where I'm weak. God made me this way. I have these weaknesses because his power is made PERFECT in those. In my head I would never say my weaknesses accomplish anything...so thank you Jesus that He is perfect and that His grace is sufficient. It almost makes me rest at ease and feel a burden lifted knowing that I don't have to hate that I'm bad at something or dwell on where I'm the weakest. Instead I should delight in these areas of life because God will use me through my weaknesses. I love my God and the fact that he's so patient with us. Thank the Lord that his power can be made perfect in the places in my life that I think are the least bit useful!