This is a question that a lot of the time I would say no. I hate to admit it and I'm just starting to actually embrace and realize that I tend to be an over-achiever or perfectionist. I don't know if that's exactly the word you would use to describe me but basically I like to be good at everything I do and I know the potential that I can achieve and anything less than that is not okay so I try really hard. And I'm not okay if I'm just average. I know this is not the right way to think and to be honest I wish this wasn't my mind set, but what can I say...I am a work in progress and God keeps revealig these things to me that are shaping me and stretching me into the person he created me to be.
So my whole life I hated having weaknesses. I would rather ignore the fact and not participate in something if I wasn't good at it, if I couldn't be great at it, why do it?...(please bear with me I'm trying this new vulnerability thing too...which I'm not very good at...) This belief has been changing in me and it hasn't come with it's uncomfortable moments and unwanted incidents, but it's all good for me and I'm starting to realize that it's okay we have weaknesses. Everyone has them and even though everyone's is different and our struggles are different God made us all the way we are, weaknesses and all so how can I ignore that?
Well, I've been trying to prepare some devotionals/testimony for Africa and I was thinking about the power of Christ and trying to focus on that since I know that's what I'll need to get through this summer! I stumbled on a verse I've known well my whole life but it all of a sudden hit me and I "got it". (So much so I am writing a blog at 1 in the morning) :) Anyway here it is:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me...I delight in weakness". 2 Cor. 12:9-10.
Whoa...boast in my weakness? I delight in weakness? I have heard the first part of that passage many times, however, it has never hit home for me, especially vs. 10. I think with this trip coming up I have often been dwelling on all that I can't do and wishing I was better at all these things and God knew exactly what I needed to hear.
It's okay that I'm not good at everything and that there just some areas of life where I'm weak. God made me this way. I have these weaknesses because his power is made PERFECT in those. In my head I would never say my weaknesses accomplish anything...so thank you Jesus that He is perfect and that His grace is sufficient. It almost makes me rest at ease and feel a burden lifted knowing that I don't have to hate that I'm bad at something or dwell on where I'm the weakest. Instead I should delight in these areas of life because God will use me through my weaknesses. I love my God and the fact that he's so patient with us. Thank the Lord that his power can be made perfect in the places in my life that I think are the least bit useful!