breathe

Exhale.

I was fortunate enough to spend a week in Washington this month. My whole family was there and we celebrated Jake and Leah's graduations from graduate school and then spent some time in the mountains at an awesome cabin. It was wonderful.
I realized that week that my soul needed to breathe. It needed room to have a nice long exhale without being rushed back to routine. The minute the plane took off I felt lighter and lighter. It's not a reflection on my life in Nashville, but just a reminder that my soul needs room to breathe. I need to make room for my over-thinking mind to rest, my over-empathetic heart to take a break and my always achieving soul to stop. It was a chance to be reminded that I do not hold the world together and that it keeps going when I'm gone.
My soul took a nice long exhale and I was able to rest. I was able to think about things that I usually just push away and cover with busyness. I was able just to be. I was able to exhale and inhale rest, peace and joy.
With every fit of laughter, every game played, every beautiful scene taken in, every short nap in the car, every page read in my book, every breath caught on the hike, every talk with one of my family members, every thought that with these people I am completely known and loved...my soul exhaled.
The hard part is not to feel like you're choking when it's time to get back to reality, to not feel like your soul is getting stuffed back down after experiencing that breath of fresh air. How do I make room for my soul to breathe in the everyday and the ordinary? How do I allow myself to feel that freedom and rest in the middle of the busyness and routine?
This was supposed to restore my soul and give me rest to start again and it did, but it also just made me long for more, long for more room to breath, more room to rest and more room to be restored. So, how do I create the space for my soul to exhale in the every day?  I guess it's something I'm still trying to figure out.

10438346_732778959713_9158598746539790450_n

Keep Breathing.

It's been a season of life where there's a lot going on. A season of life where if I'm not doing something I know I'm two seconds away from realizing what should be done. A season of life where I feel like I have a balance and then the next day I don't. A season of life where I am doing things I never thought I could or would do. A season of life where I'm growing a whole lot. In this season it's easy to forget to breathe. It's easy to forget to breathe deep. It's easy to get so overwhelmed. It's easy to feel like I'm doing so many things, but nothing well. It's easy to feel like I'm a not so great friend, employee, student and family member because it's all just too much.

I have to remind myself to breathe these days. Sometimes I just have to take a minute and sit in my car away from all the noise, the to-do lists, the due dates, the emails and just take a few deep breaths. I have to remind myself who gives me these breaths to breathe each day. With each deep breathe I remind myself I cannot do this by myself.

These days the words of one of my favorite songs resound in my head...All that I know is I'm breathing...all I can do is keep breathing...all we can do is keep breathing.

Some days all I can do is remind myself to breathe and remember who gives me these breaths to breathe each day. Just keep breathing.