Weary.

Today a few people asked me if I was okay because I didn't look great. (They were quick to say not my appearance and I was quick to assure them I knew what they meant) :)

I knew what they meant because I knew what they were talking about it. I smiled today and I knew it didn't quite reach my eyes and that I appeared weighed down. I recently took the Strengths-finder survey and it said my top strength is Empathy. It makes so much sense. It explains why when something bad or unfair is happening to someone I care about it's hard for me to forget about it and not worry about it. That pretty much explains this weight and burden. But this verse keeps running through my head:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Thank God for this statement. It gives me hope and I've found it to be so true. These burdens make me want to quit sometimes. I feel that pricking in the back of my mind that whispers to my soul, "Don't you wish you could live a care-free, "happy" life? You have the resources and the ability to live somewhere safer, to make more money, and to not be weighed down by others burdens." I would be lying if my mind doesn't entertain the idea for a minute, but then my heart and soul kick in. No I don't wish that. In fact, that's the last thing I want. The charge that keeps running through my mind is:

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

 

So of course my life could be "easier", but I refuse to believe that's the way we're supposed to live. I know the charge Christ has placed on my life and I know I am exactly where He would have me be right now. The idea of living a nice, care-free, comfortable life while pursuing the American Dream is the exact opposite of what I believe as followers of Christ we should be pursuing. I know I'm meant to be a part of God's Kingdom coming to earth as it is in heaven and to love others the way Christ loves me. And if along this journey burdens come and I feel weary and life seems hard...well praise the Lord we serve a God who tells us He'll carry those burdens for us.

Thankful

I realized I haven't blogged in awhile...I guess that's what happens when time gets away from you. I sat down to write a deep and thoughtful post and I couldn't put my words together. My overwhelming thoughts these days are just filled with gratitude and joy. It's funny to look back to January and how I just felt in a dark place with not much going on and now I just feel lighter and able to find joy each day, especially in the little things these days:

All the trees are blooming here in Nashville and they're so pretty. The weather has been beautiful and I've laid outside in the sun the past two days. I don't need to spend money at the tanning bed to get ready for my upcoming Florida trip since I can just sit outside! Thankful.

I just love March and March Madness is one of the biggest reasons. I love college basketball and there's just something fun about filling out your brackets, watching upsets, and competing with your friends and family to see who has the best bracket. (However, it's not fun when your team loses...my poor Spartans.)

I know it may seem weird to be thankful for cereal, but I am. It's the only consistent thing I buy at the grocery each week and it just hits the spot. I'm especially thankful for my new found favorite cereal, Kroger brand blueberry almond crunch.

There's a lot more random little things I could post and these days I seem to find joy in the dumbest things like cereal, but hey I'm realizing we're not meant to go through our days thankless, cynical and pessimistic. So if I want to find joy in my late night bowl of Blueberry Almond Crunch cereal then so be it.

Oh Joy!

So in this blog here I decided to write a Joy for each day because I was having trouble finding joy in each day and I said, "I refuse to go through a day without stopping to see where God has worked and I don't want to take for granted any more the time I have." So I thought I would share some of the things I've found joy in the last month or so:

Monday, January 24th:  "Today I had the funniest conversation in my car with four of the most precious angels that I work with. We were driving from the gym back to Harvest Hands and one told me she only likes Jesus and God music so I turned off the radio and we sang "Who's the King of the Jungle". Except when they get to the part where you say "His name is J-E-S-U-S YES!" They all came to a dead stop at the same time and said, "Miss Abby we don't know how to spell Jesus!" So funny!

Tuesday, January 25th: Mandy and I went to the Adventure Science Center for their adults only after hours event and it was so fun! It was my first time going and an early birthday present for her! My favorite part: The Germ Game. Our team won every time!

Sunday, January 30th: My pastor and his wife, Jim and Jessica, came over for lunch and had a good time getting to know them better and spend time with their sweet baby Justus.

Wednesday, February 2nd: Civil Wars Concert with Amanda Lian. One word: Magical.

Tuesday, February 8th: Found out I could go to Florida with my family in April!!! 

Thursday, February 10th: Found out Jake got into PT school!

Monday, February 14th: Valentine's Day spent with these crazy boys, my 2/42 group and then finished the night at The Saucer.

Wednesday, February 16th: Saw Committed in concert! They're amazing and I was so glad I got to see them with Mandy, Tricia, and Jen.

Today, Sunday, February 27th: A wonderful time at church and a reminder of God's love for me and the blessing of a church family. Good time with friends, conversations in parking lots, Sunday afternoon naps, cereal for your 10:00 snack and a night to yourself.

I'm discovering sometimes it's the events, sometimes it's the people, and sometimes it's the little things that bring joy to my days. I'm excited to see what the rest of the year holds.

Celebrate.

If you were inside of my head at the beginning of January this is what you would have heard:

"Well...there goes another Christmas break and here I am back in Nashville. I guess life just resumes as normal, now that I'm in real life I guess there's not as much to look forward to. I have nothing exciting coming up, no big trips, no celebrations, no events and I don't have the consistent breaks to look forward to like I did through all my school years. Why can't my life be more exciting?"

Debbie Downer I know. I knew these thoughts weren't the most productive or positive, but I wasn't sure what to make of this phase of my life. 

I feel like I've learned a lot and grown from that moment in January. I've been on a journey to celebration. It started with intentionally finding joy in each day and was helped along by reading the book Cold Tangerines and pushed over the edge by some divine nudges. I realized each day is a reason to celebrate. Can you imagine how your life would be different if you woke up every morning excited to be where you are? I couldn't...not at first. I'm learning and it is a journey because it's so much easier to look to the next best thing and choose to be miserable in the normalcy of life. 

It's funny the timing of things. All these thoughts were going through my head and then I just happen to read a book that puts my thoughts into words way better than I ever could. 

"It's rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. It's much easier and much more common to be miserable. But I choose to do what I can do to create hope, to celebrate life, and the act of celebrating connects me back to that life I love. We could just live our normal, day-to-day lives, saving all the good living up for someday, but I think today, just plain today, is worth it. I think it's our job, each of us, to live each day like it's a special occasion, because we've been given a gift. We get to live in this beautiful world. When I live purposefully and well, when I dance instead of sitting it out, when I let myself laugh hard, when I wear my favorite shoes on a regular Tuesday, that regular Tuesday is better."

This is from Cold Tangerines, a book that if you haven't read you should. It's one of the best books I've read in awhile!

Friendship

It's funny the timing of things. Last night my dear friend sent me a text that said something to the effect of, "Thanks for being a good friend and caring about peoples lives." I responded with, "You're too kind, but thank you." (And then she scolded me for not taking a compliment)

Anyway...this got me thinking about friendship and love and relationships. I truly believe that I have a lot of love to give. And I truly believe it's because God bestows His love on me so that I can give it away. Well I was reading my new book, Cold Tangerines (so good so far btw) and she put my thoughts in words, way better than I could!

"Friendship is acting out God's love for people in tangible ways. We were made to represent the love of God in each others lives, so that each person we walk through life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them. Friendship is an opportunity to act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is. When we do the hard, intimate work of friendship, we bring a little more of the divine into daily life. We get to remind one another about the bigger, more beautiful picture that we can't always see from where we are."

I love this. I wish people truly realized how much of an opportunity and how life giving friendship and relationships can be. I know part of my calling and existance on this earth is to "act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is." And my prayer is that I will continually do this day in and day out. 

Since this is about friendship and blogs are just better with pictures..here are just a few with friends: