Running.

I've started running. Never in my life would I think those words would come out...like ever. I always admired people who could run long distances and who enjoyed running, but I have never understood it. Honestly, I haven't made it to the point where I understand people who really love running. (maybe I'll get there someday? Although I'm three months in and have yet to experience this so-called "runners high" people talk about it...I'll believe it when I feel it myself). Thanks to my wonderful friend Jessica, who if it wasn't for her I wouldn't even be writing this because I would of quit when the Couch 2 5K training said run for 8 minutes straight (my response when I heard that = I'm sorry, what did you just say?), who encourages me when I say I'm going to quit, who made me realize it's not okay just to quit something because you're not  good at it and who accepts me and all my complaining each morning, we now successfully run about 3 miles a few times every week. Anyway...because I needed a break from homework, because I like lists and because I was thinking about running randomly and how I have to wake up here soon to do just that here is my Top Ten Random Running List of Thoughts/Experiences/Ideas/etc...

1. I am learning how much running is a mental thing. I used to wake up so anxious about the day's run because I didn't think I could do it and I'm learning how to work through my anxiety when it comes to running. Also, the things that go on in my head while I'm running from my self pep talks, to my observations of the neighborhood, to my random thoughts could probably be turned into a sitcom that would either be highly entertaining or make you slightly worry about my mental state.

2. There are a lot of hills in Nashville. When you're just driving around you may disagree, but run that same route and then we can talk about if Nashville is hilly or not.

3. I would like to publicly thank the Beyonce Pandora station as well as the Justin Timberlake Pandora station for being my ever encouraging companions on these endeavors.

4. Running is hard. I thought it would get easier and I guess it has, but it's still hard. Some runs are easier than others, some days just suck and I say I'm never doing it again, other days I think it's not too bad. Kinda like life...oh, you don't even want to know how many parallels between running and life go through my head every morning, I could basically start my own blog about those.

5. Running gives you a common bond with other people who run. It's like you're now in a secret society. One day I had a whole conversation with my friend about running and after it was over I thought, "Who am I and since when could I hold my own in a conversation about running?". I always felt like part of the out group when I was around runners and even though I run now, I'm pretty sure I haven't quite made it into the 'in group". (I think you have to experience and probably document via social media that runner's high you get to be in that group or actually complete a race)

6. My favorite thing on runs is when we pass by random people who encourage us. One guy told us next year we would be running the NYC marathon...not gonna happen sir, but we really appreciate the encouragement.

7. We had to invest in pepper spray...not because of people, but because of stray dogs.

8. The city graveyard is a really pretty and peaceful place to run. (Thank you Brian and Courtney for this insight)

9. I am signed up to run two 5K's next week...the first 5K's in my life I will have run the whole thing and first 5K's since i've started training. I didn't realize they are in the same week until about 5 minutes ago. Well...go big or go home, right? (maybe this means I'm that much closer to being in the "in group" of running...OMG!!)

10. I am proud of myself. I think I can say that without coming across as too proud or full of myself. It's exciting to be able to say you've done something you never thought you would or even were capable of doing. I may question that capability each time I put on those running shoes, but I've done it and I'm doing it and as ugly or slow as some of those runs can be, I do it and that's what I focus on.

(disclaimer: please don't compare this to one of those people you dread seeing on social media who are always commenting on how great their workout was or who is always checked into the gym or someone who is seeking a pat on the back for the fact that they're actually working out. 1. I would never comment about how great a workout is, because let's be real, workouts aren't that great. 2. I don't have a gym to check into. 3. I mean, feel free to pat me on the back if you want.)

Women and Girls.

This last week I had the opportunity to speak on a panel at Trevecca after the showing of the movie, It’s a Girl. This movie is heart wrenching and actually quite horrifying. Learning about gendercide and being exposed to the real life facts that up to 200 million women and girls are missing in the world, 1 in 4 girls won’t make it past puberty in India and China and more baby girls are killed in India and China than are born in the United States each year is horrible. It is unacceptable and terrible.

We had to formulate a response to the movie and my response was…anger. I have been learning a lot about emotions lately and one thing I’ve realized is that anger can lead to depression or it can give birth to your passions and desires. This anger reminded me of my passion for gender equality and my desire for everyone (especially those in the church) to understand the importance of affirming women and girls.

The idea that it is okay to kill a baby because it is a girl is not okay and it comes out of the idea that girls are weaker and not as valuable as boys. This idea that girls don’t have as much to offer and are more of a burden isn't okay and it's an issue that is seen all over the place.

It’s an issue that on average women are paid half of what men make. It’s an issue that a girl can be told that her calling is wrong and she really didn’t hear the Lord speak to her when she shares she wants to be a pastor because “women can’t be leaders in the church”. It’s an issue that girls find their identity in who they have dated and if boys find them attractive. It’s an issue that women are viewed as weaker and not as valuable and if they are perceived as assertive and strong they can be considered a bitch. It’s not okay.

Some people say I’m overly sensitive, or throw the feminist word at me (that doesn't scare me...you can keep calling me that), but I just really believe, deep in my soul, that we were created equal, that God created us this way, and I hate to see such inequality. I hate to see women and girls devalued and this idea of a “weaker sex” to be accepted. From the fact that more girls and women are killed in gendercide then all genocides combined to statements like “you throw like a girl” all play into this stereotype and belief.

So…it’s not okay? So what? It’s easy to wonder what to do and feel overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions for how to be a part of the change that encourages and empowers girls around the world.

1. Love yourself and remember who you are. We have to start with ourselves. Remember you are one who is dearly loved by God. Learn to love yourself for who you uniquely are. Stop punishing your self and critiquing your body or thinking you're not good enough. You are beautiful and wonderful. Know your worth and live into that truth each day.
2. Start where you are. Love and affirm a girl around you. Mentor a girl and speak truth into her life. Boys (if you’ve read this far) this means you too. It could mean so much more for a girl to hear from a male influence in her life that she is valuable, that her identity is found in the fact that she is a child of God and that her life means something.
3. Spread the word. After watching a movie like It’s a Girl we have the responsibility to spread the word. Other documentaries and movements you can learn about are Girl Rising and Half the Sky. Get educated and tell others about what you’re learning. Also, check out The Girl Declaration. 
4. Be brave enough to challenge the stereotypes. Stop saying things like “stop crying like a little girl”. Don’t accept it when someone talks about how a man would be better for the job because “he can be more in charge”. Really dig deep into scripture and the life of Jesus to formulate an opinion about women in the church rather than believing something because that's what you've always been taught. (Check out this blog)

Whether you agree with everything I said or not, think about it. Take the time to learn about these issues and form an opinion about them. Realize that we were all made in God’s image. No one deserves to be considered “less than”. Know your worth and remind someone else of theirs today.

What I'm into...

In true form, I currently have three papers I could be working on and a discussion post to write, but I decided to write a blog instead. In the blogging world people have been posting about "What they're into this summer" so I decided to join the club. So here's a few things I'm into...

Traveling. This summer I took the longest road trip of my life going from Nashville to Michigan to Philly to Baltimore and back to Nashville by myself. It was something like 2,000 miles and a whole heck of a lot of toll money. It was a trip of sadness and grief because of the unexpected loss of my aunt, but also a reminder of the great community I have around me. I had many places to stop and people to see and friends who called to keep me company. I also went back to Michigan two times after that trip, once to visit my friend Lindsey in Grosse Pointe and another time for the wedding of my dear friends, Jake and Hannah and I'll be back to MI at the end of August for family time. 

Music. I'm always into some type of music, this summer my tastes have ranged from the new Sara Barreilles, Justin Timberlake, The Avett Brothers, Mayer Hawthorne, The Piano Guys (great paper writing music) and I may be slightly obsessed with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. My friend Chelsea gave me their album when I left Michigan for Philly and I don't know how many times I have listened to it. So good.

Not doing homework. As illustrated by this current blog post, I have had a hard time focusing on school work. It's hard to do school in the summer! Summer is supposed to be fun.

Dresses. I may or may not have gone through a phase of buying five or six dresses and then I had to stop myself. It was becoming a problem. I just really like them and they were on sale and they are all super cute and I've worn them all a lot already. (see how I justify things in my head?)

Smoothies. Summer means fresh fruits and they make great smoothies. I pretty much start every day with one.

Spending time with the kids. With the summer comes a little bit more flexibility to spend time with our students and I love it. I was able to see the elementary students a lot more and spend some good quality time with my high schoolers. 

Realizing life is hard and it's okay. This has been a recurring theme this summer for me. I think more to come on this later, but I've been learning a lot of lessons and growing a lot this summer.

Fundraising and Development. I have gone through a job transition at work to become the Director of Communications and Development. I have the privilege of learning from a great teacher and I've also been taking lots of development classes from the Center for Nonprofit Management...I'm on my way to becoming an expert!

The Mindy Project. I watched the whole season and you should do. So ridiculously funny.

They held his hands up.

My aunt passed away suddenly a week ago. She had been sick, but it wasn’t expected and was a shock. She had just moved back to Michigan after living in Australia for the past 35 years and her daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter moved here too. So to get the call that she was gone was hard, it was too soon and it sucked. She wasn’t supposed to leave us yet.

There’s a story in Exodus about when the Israelites are fighting and when Moses held up his hands, Israel was winning, when he let them down, the other people were winning. Well…obviously, his hands got tired and when they did his friends brought a stone for him to sit on and then they did what I think is really cool…his friends held his hands up---"one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset."

These two guys didn’t have to do that. They could have left Moses and let him grow tired and take on that responsibility on his own, but they didn’t. They held his hands up. I am no Bible scholar so I don’t even know the context, but what I do know is that Moses’ two friends shared in this responsibility and offered support to him.

The past few weeks have been kinda crazy, overwhelming and hectic for me. I told my mom the night before I got the news about my aunt that I didn’t have the energy to deal with one more emotional thing. And honestly, I didn’t. My hands were tired, so you could say, but this is the really cool thing…people held my hands up.

Nothing about this last week has been easy for me or my family. My cousin lost her mom. My mom lost her sister. And it sucks. But I have been surprised and overwhelmed by how people have shown up. They have held our hands up.

They brought dinner to feed our entire family plus some.

They cleaned my cousin’s house from top to bottom.

They send a “praying for you” or “is there anything I can do for you?” text.

They call you to keep you occupied during your drive home.

They think for you at work when you can’t find the energy to do it yourself.

They come help you finish your yard work.

They send you gas money.

And, really, the list could go on. Yes, nothing about this has been easy for my family, but it for sure has been a testament to how people show up and how they have held our hands up.

Friends.

I seriously have the greatest friends.

Today Whitney led devotion for staff meeting and talked about how we have experienced Christ's love in our lives. I said I am always reminded of Christ's love for me when I think of my friendships and how it always seems that God brings the perfect friends into my life right when I need them.

Looking back and presently God has brought friends into my life right when I needed them. Some friendships lasted only a season, other friends were people I never thought I would be friends with, and others are forever friends.

I just love friendship. It is a gift and not something I take for granted. Some days though remind me just how important friends are and how much I need them.

Today was not a good day. I woke up anxious and started the day right away trying not to fall back into a habit of anxiety attacks. Today is a day I could not have completed well alone.

My friends shine on days like today and I am reminded that I am blessed.

Friendship today looked like a text saying I'm proud of you. Friendship today looked like wine, gummy bears, chocolate kisses and a note showing up on my doorstep. Friendship today looked like a funny email sent to cheer me up. Friendship today looked like a "how's the project going" message. Friendship today looked like an errand being run for me to make my life easier.

I hope and pray that I am half as good of a friend as my friends are to me.