I sorta made an impulsive decision.

So...in Seattle last week Leah said "Hey Ab you should get your nose pierced." So I did. I've always wanted to but never thought I would. I know the picture is sideways but I think you can still see it okay. Jake, Em, Abe, and Leah were all in the room when I got it pierced...like my dad always says, "The family that pierces together stays together." Right Mom? :)

I like not being afraid.

I've been reading Romans 8 almost every day for the last month or so. The church I've been going to has been studying it for the last few weeks and I'm loving it. It's amazing to me that you can read one chapter of a book and get so much out of it every time. One part that sticks out to me each time is where it says:

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, 

but you received the Spirit of sonship."

It says so many times in Scripture, "Do not be afraid" or "Fear not" (I tried to look up how many times it says it, but I can't find an answer...) how come we don't listen? I am so fearful of so many things...but that's not how Christ has meant for us to live. If we truly realized that we are sons and daugthers of a King and how powerful we are because of Christ living inside of us how would our lives be different? How would our prayers be different? How would our conversations be different?

I'm learning not to be afraid and it's freeing. I'm learning how much power there is in the Holy Spirit. I'm learning how confident I can be in Christ because he tells me not to be afraid. It's a process, but I'm learning and believe me life is better when you're not afraid!

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" - Ghandi

I've been thinking a lot lately about the way Christ lived. Nothing he did was normal. Nothing he did "fit in" or was the cool and trendy thing to do. And why do we as Christians who proclaim to worship Jesus and say we're followers of Christ look nothing like him? It's a convicting statement if you really think about it. Part of this vent is stemming from the constant questioning about my life and career choice and when the next chance I'll have to be promoted or when people say, "Wait...how much do you make?" or "Abby, why do you think that's important, that's just the way it's meant to be"?? Jesus didn't do everything that was popular and quite honestly his life and actions were pretty much always counter cultural and backwards.

This hit me again today at church when we were singing In Christ Alone and the line says, "Here in the death of Christ...I Live", that doesn't make sense...because Christ died I live, but that just seems to be the way He works. And it made me remember this passage from the book Compassion:
"Thus we are deeply disturbed by a God who emobodies a downward movement. Instead of striving for a higher position, more power, and more influence, Jesus moves, as Karl Barth says, from the "heights to the depth, from victory to defeat, from riches to poverty, from triumph to suffering, from life to death" Jesus' whole life and mission involve accepting powerlessness and revealing in this powerlessness the limitlessness of God's love."

So let's move from being people who admire and worship this Christ we claim to follow, but look nothing like him and become people who look like this Christ we love so that through us His Glory can be revealed and his Kingdom can come on earth as it is in Heaven. Please.

I like who I am.

I like who I am. I'm honestly not sure if I've ever been able to say that before. As difficult and weird this time of my life has been I've realized it's been formative to seeing myself clearer and realizing I can be confident in who I am and who I was created to be.

That's it. A simple but freeing truth.

I like my life.

So I've decided I like my life. If you would have asked me that a week ago I probably wouldn't have said the same thing, but I think I'm moving past the transition time and finally feeling more settled. Last week I really struggled with being out of school, having a different schedule, just going to work and coming home, not sure where to spend my free time, and feeling lonely.

I don't have all this figured out necessarily, but I have it figured out more I guess you could say. It is just a time of change and transition and I'm trying to look at the positive side of it. I'm embracing the solitude and am starting to enjoy the time I have to myself. I just started reading Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen (great recommendation Jake!) and he addresses the issue of solitude and isolation which has been really helpful. Those are my two biggest issues in this whole transition time, but I'm starting to see how this can be a good.

Anyway, not sure if all that made sense, but I feel like I'm finally in a good place to post a blog that wouldn't sound like a pity party. I'm happy with my life right now. I love my job, I love where I live, I'm seeing old friends and making new ones, I'm going to a new church, and learning more about who I am each day. So yes...I like my life.