Who I Am.

I've been doing some self reflection lately I guess you could say. I've tried to become more self aware and I've noticed comments from people about me and sometimes I feel like people don't know me that well. So this is just a list about me and who I am. And since I'm loving top ten lists lately here are the top ten things about me...

10. I can't lie. I guess because the two times in my life I've told the biggest lies it was torture to keep things straight and it's not worth it at all. It's actually kinda weird how much I can't lie even if its about something stupid. And one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone does lie to me.

9. I don't get mad very easily. If I do get mad it's gotta be a pretty big deal and the biggest thing that makes me mad are social justice issues.

8. I'm a people pleaser. Yup, I admit it. I've always known it and I hate it at times because I hate that people can so easily have control over my emotions, but I like that it makes me more selfless and think more of others and what they're feeling.

7. My love language is words of affirmation. The way to get to my heart is through words. I notice when people don't say I love you and if you want to make my day just write me a letter. I love writing other people letters and letting them know I appreciate them.

6. I guess I'm unique...I've realized that a lot of people have used that word to describe me and I used to get offended but I looked up the definition and it said: being the only one of its kind and unlike anyone else. So...I guess this could be said in a negative way but I'm just embracing my uniqueness. :)

5. I struggle with being good enough. I guess this is one of my deepest insecurities. I guess it's also related to being a people pleaser.

4. I'm a pretty adaptable and flexible person. I'll go with the flow and I would rather not have things totally planned out, but if they are that's okay too. I think it can come across like I don't have opinions or am just a follower but its just because I will do whatever and if other people care more than I do then I'll just do whatever they want because I'm content with whatever.

3. I do have an opinion, actually I have a lot of them. I think some people would say I don't often say what I think, but I just don't express them all the time because I don't want to start fights with people and I just want to keep the peace.

2. I'm dependable. I can't say I will do something and not do it. I don't think there's many times in my life where I can say I let someone down or said I would do something and didn't. This also results in me sucking at saying no to things and being over committed.

1. I'm an Introvert. I've spent years denying it and always wished I was more outgoing but I've come to terms with it. And I've realized the true definition of the word means that I get my energy from being alone. I love being around people and spending time with lots of friends but I do get drained if I don't have some alone time.

I figured since I was talking about myself I would include a picture...this is the result of being sick and bored in my apt. all day.

My Top 10 Events of Summer...

Things have been crazy this last week...came back to Nashville last Friday and have been on retreat and in meetings pretty much nonstop. I'm finally having a chance to relax and wanted to summarize my summer before it got to late...so I decided to do it in the form of a top ten list.

10. Traveling. I basically drove from Michigan to Seattle in the span of two and half months and got to see and experience so many things along the way.

9. Weddings. I got to be in a good friend's wedding and then come to Nashville for one weekend for two weddings. It was so fun celebrating such a special day with everyone!

8. Home. As much as I loved traveling and being all over the place this summer I loved that I was able to relax at home and spend time there with family and friends. Of course home wouldn't be home without a trip to Lake Michigan and I was able to go twice.

7. The sporting events. I attended three major league baseball games and the Seattle Sounders vs. Chelsea game. I got to go to my first Tigers game!! Which was incredible and then went to a Seattle Mariners game and Colorado Rockies...out of the three only the Rockies won. :( Also...I went to the Sounders vs. Chelsea FC game which was so awesome and I'm so glad I got to go!

6. Almost encountering a gun. Leah and I had the great opportunity of running from gun shots while we were in downtown Seattle...long story short, scariest moment of my life to date.

5. Family. I think I spent more time with my family this summer than I have in awhile and it was wonderful. We had our "family reunion" with my aunts and uncles and some cousins which was great and we got spend some time out at the lake house.

4. Wyoming. After my Mom and Dad picked me up at Camp in CO we drove to WY and met Leah and Jake there to do some camping in the Grand Tetons (which are beautiful). We went on a couple really pretty hikes, survived a storm in the tent, and kayaking on a lake in the storm, and only showered every few days...it was great.

3. Seeing old friends. I was able to see Josh and Deanna in Denver before camp and it was so good! It wasn't the longest time but we were able to catch up and I'm so thankful I was able to see them! And In Seattle I got to see Julia, who lives there now, and spend the night with her and we just picked up where we left off.

2. Seattle in general. I'm so glad I was able to spend time there with Jake, Leah and Em. I learned the bus system, experienced city life, did a 5k and had some nice relaxing downtime. I spent more time with Leah and Jake than I have in awhile and it was great.

1. Camp Timberline. Wow. I'm not gonna lie...it didn't start out quite like I expected, but it ended up being an amazing experience that I will forever be grateful for. God shaped me and revealed so much to me this summer through this experience and I won't forget it.

What a Summer...

I am currently sitting in the QCafe in Seattle and just thinking about how amazingly (is that a word?) blessed I have been by my summer. It has already been pretty incredible and I'm not sure how it could get much better. I was able to spend seven weeks in one of the most beautiful places ever and work with some pretty incredible people. I was stretched and God taught me so much through my experience at camp. I didn't want to leave and loved the relationships I built and the experiences I was able to have through interacting with my campers.

I'm not gonna lie at times it was hard and I questioned often why I was there and what I was doing there, but through that God showed me that we are where he wants us to be and there was a reason for where I was. I never knew it was possible to love kids that much. I just prayed that God would give me his eyes to see and his love to love these kids with and he did. I was only with them for about a week each, but I cared about them and loved them in a way only God could have allowed me to. God surprised me over and over again with different encounters with people. One week we had a really difficult cabin and it wasn't going very smoothly but then on the last day five of them accepted Christ into their lives for the first time...I never would have thought they even cared about what they were hearing, but one girl said before she went to pray..."I can't wait to start my life with God" and just danced around. Or one 14 year old camper who came into camp not believing that God even existed and at the end of the week talking to her and she was able to say its okay to have doubts but now she really knows the Truth and that there is a God who cares about her. Those are the times I won't forget.

As hard as it was to leave camp I got to go camping in the beautiful Grand Tetons with the family (minus Bets) and it that was a blast and now I'm chilling in Seattle with Jake, Leah and Em. Really things couldn't get much better...

A couple pictures of Camp T:

Summer...

My summer sorta officially starts tomorrow. Me and Becca are off on our road trip to Colorado!!! I'm working at Camp Timberline until July 8th, then camping with the fam, and then hanging out in Seattle for awhile with Jake and Leah. I'm pumped about what my summer looks like but also a little nervous about the camp part. I just pray that I'll be good at what I have to do and that God will use me where he sees fit. Prayer would be appreciated of course. I know God will work in me and through me and I'm excited about that and pray that my flesh doesn't get in the way. I'm praying for all of you that read this also...since I'm pretty sure I know the six or seven of you that do...:)

What I don't get about life...

WARNING: The content of this blog is the result of a rant and rave. The words are cynical at times. Some things I say may not even be right and I'm sure can be justified in some way, but these are just things I've been thinking about and am really just spouting off. And I know I'm guilty of these things too and I don't do everything right...I'm frustrated with myself often.

- How is it so easy to read the Bible...yet not do what it says? I think people really make it harder than it is, it's really not that complex. Love God and love others and really everything else should just fall into place. What would life look like if we truly treated each person as if they were Christ? Life changing I would say...

- How can people see the pain of the world and just push it away and not let it affect them? I can't even watch one of those support a child commercials without crying. There's a line in the movie Hotel Rwanda where the Rwandans are saying well if they see the videos of what's going on here people will want to help and will do something...then the journalist replies...no they'll just see it say that's awful and go on eating their dinner. That's what happens...I hate that it's so easy to become immersed in our own comfortable "easy" lives that we block out the pain and suffering of the world.

- Gossip. I know I can struggle with this as much as the next person and I hate it. Really when you think about it...who wants to be talked about behind their back, so why do we do it to other people? I hate that this is such an easy thing, especially for girls to fall back on in conversation and that it has become so casual.

- Money. I wish we could exist without it, but that's difficult. I just wish we were better stewards of it. And really...some things really get me angry. Like how a professional baseball player won't settle for a $24 million contract because he wants a $26 million one...what does he do that's really beneficial that he should earn that much money? The other day there was a huge semi on campus advertising about a mission project going on in Peru to raise support for churches...how much support could they have given if they wouldn't have rented that truck? Just sayin...

Again, forgive me...I know its cynical, but these are all things I've been struggling with and praying about for awhile among many other issues. I feel like God's been answering my prayer to open my eyes to the world...I just need to figure out how to handle it I guess. I have a holy discontent and I plan on that leading to changes in my own life and not just being a person who is cynical about everything, because I know that's not beneficial at all.