His Kingdom

It seems that when a lot of people think of God's Kingdom they think of heaven or when Jesus comes back and will bring his Kingdom to earth. (Thank you Left Behind series). And Christians today get so wrapped up in this idea and just believe the world is how it is, in all of its hellishness and/or heavenliness (are those even words?) and they're just anticipating Jesus' return while ignoring the problems and opportunities around them. What people miss is that they can be a part of this Kingdom coming. As Tony Campolo says, "When we talk about Jesus, we must make it clear that he is not just interested in our well-being in the afterlife. He is a Savior who is at work in the world today trying to save the world from what it is, and make it into a place where people can live together with dignity."

This song is great and I can't stop listening to it and explains what I'm trying to say...

Kingdom Coming
Words & Music by Shaun Groves

Oh, God what do we see and hear
Your kingdom coming
Oh, God why do we bleed and fear
Your kingdom coming

Let it come in us
Let it come through us-

‘Til the sword is spared
And the bread is shared
‘Til the dying’s done
Let your kingdom come
‘Til the rich ones give
And the poor ones live
‘Til the weak are strong
Let your kingdom come

Oh, God what do we pray down here
Your kingdom coming
Oh, God why do we slave through tears
Your kingdom coming

Let it come in us
Let it come through us-

Oh, God what do we pray down here
Your kingdom coming

Your mercy come
Your justice come
Your will be done through us on earth
Your healing come
Your peace will come
Your will be done through us on earth

(You can download this song for free on http://www.somethingbeautifulpodcast.com/misc/free-download-shaun-groves-kingdom-coming/)

"Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven".

Blah.

So it's been awhile since I've written. Honestly...lately I haven't really had anything to say. If you could describe things in one word it would be blah. I don't want to be an "emo" blogger as some would say. :) But really nothing too exciting has been happening and I just haven't been thinking or feeling much lately. I have either felt numb or overwhelmed. So...all of that to say some prayer would be appreciated. One thing I do know is that God is good and he continues to provide even though I don't always see it.

I know it's long...but please read it.

Tonight I was at Room In the Inn and I was able to sit down and talk with a man named Anthony. He has an incredible testimony. I was moved to tears multiple times and reminded constantly of God's grace and love for us. He said his prayer was that I would get something from his story and be able to share it with others. So here is Anthony's story...

He grew up in West Palm Beach with a nice family, mom and a dad, nice house and all that. He went to college and had a daughter while there. After that he went off the deep end. He said he grew to hate and despise his ex-girlfriend because she wouldn't let him see their daughter or bring her around his family. He got into drugs among other things. His bitterness and hate grew so much that he came up to Nashville, bought a gun, and planned to kill the mother of his daughter. Luckily, she wasn't home when he got to her house. He went back to the hotel and sat...high on crack he decided he didn't want to live anymore. He said he knew the devil had a hold of him and he didn't want to live anymore but he wanted to go to heaven. He held a bible in one hand and a gun in the other. As he pointed the gun to his head a feeling came over him and he couldn't do it. He cried out to God for the first time...and just fell asleep. The next morning after waking up he didn't know how he fell asleep especially while being so high. But he gave his life to Christ, threw his gun away, and felt God calling him back to Knoxville where he was wanted for burglary. To make the story a little shorter...he moved back and got arrested and spent months in jail, but while there started bible studies and multiple prayer groups. Eventually he was let out and came back to Nashville, got a job and started seeing his daughter.

Fast forward a couple years...he lost his job three weeks before last Christmas so that's why he is homeless. He has a great relationship with his daughter, Mayana who is 17, and he saves up enough money from odds and end jobs to get a hotel with her every other weekend so he can spend time with her. And he loves Jesus. His favorite thing to do is write sermons he says. He explained the one he is writing now to me. He talked about how it's hard loving the other homeless guys when they make fun of him or call him names, but he just kills them with kindness and they notice he's different.

I'll never forget what he told me..."I may not have a car, or house, or much money to my name but the joy and peace I have in my life is really what matters". He gets it. He has paid for his mistakes and had to suffer more than many of us ever will have to, but he is forgiven and his life shows that he gets it. He doesn't find fulfillment in what he has or doesn't have, but in the ways he obeys the Lord and is able to love others.

His parting words to me would be that he would pray for me as he went to sleep. That his story would somehow help in someway and it did. It showed me someone that truly understands what it means to be a follower of Christ, no matter what your past is.

That's why God gives us a story...so we can share it and as Anthony said...everything that happens, God gets the glory. It isn't about me or even the exact events that happen, but how through my story God gets the glory. Wise words from a homeless man I may never see again..."As long as God gets the glory through whatever happens, that is what matters."

A new outlook

I feel like I have a new outlook on life and am renewed. I don't know why it took so long for me to see life this way or what even exactly brought it on, but whatever it was I'm so thankful. I feel like I've realized what I've been missing out on and God has finally gotten through to me. Sometimes I don't think I have the words to express the fullness of my mind and heart.

One thing I've learned through reading the book Crazy Love and just through God helping me is his great LOVE for us. I've always been a romantic and couldn't wait for that perfect relationship with that perfect guy...sometimes it claims my attention in a way that isn't really beneficial. At a worship night a couple weeks ago it was like God tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, hello! I love you! and it finally sunk in. Whether or not I find that "perfect relationship" I have a Savior who loves me with that love I've thought could come from a human relationship. It doesn't. Only Christ can love us unfailingly and unconditionally. He is perfect love. He is my love story that I've always wanted.

This love has spurred me into action. I feel so fulfilled and content and I want to continue in this love story every day and fall more and more in love with my Jesus. And I want other people to experience this love. I want to love people the way we're supposed to. I pray that God gives me his eyes to see people the way he does. In Crazy Love he talks about how our life would change if we actually treated each person we came into contact with as Christ. How would it?...it would pretty much turn it upside down. I have this deep love for Christ and if I were to treat each person with that love, my world would look so different. And that excites me. I want to love like Christ loves.

There's so much more than God is teaching me. I don't even know if I can put it all into words. I just know that God is good and my life is His. I'm open to what He has for me and I'm learning everyday what that look likes exactly. I have a deep joy and peace that I can't quite express. :)

My Prayer

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me.

I read this in Crazy Love, in the chapter about "When You're in Love". This is my prayer. Let's just add too that God has amazing timing with things. He meets you where you are and always reveals answers to you when you're willing to pay attention.